CrazyBusy Mama! (Dot Calm)

Seattle has been shrouded in dark gray clouds for weeks now. It’s the kind of dreariness that goes on and on, to the point where most of us forget where we put our sunglasses then rush out on days like this to buy another pair.

Thankfully, I knew where mine were. This was good because today…amazingly…I actually needed them.

It would have been easier to stay home and be lazy, but getting out in the fresh air is good for body and soul, so off we went.

First, with our oldest child, youngest child, and puppy in tow, we stopped at the nearby National Cemetery to “visit” my dad. That’s never easy, and usually hits me pretty hard later in the day, like it is now (it’s 11 p.m. on Sunday as I write this).

Anyway……..

We then thought it would be a good day to take the two youngins (that would be the six-year-old and the puppy) to a park after dropping off the oldest at home. Parks are like chairs…have you ever noticed that? As in too hard, too soft, just right? In our case, it was: too small with no parking, too big with way too many people, and — finally — just right.

We ended up going to a park that’s been a favorite of our kids since our teens were small (never mind that our oldest “teen” is now 20…), and it was really nice being there again today. Bethany made friends on the playground, but wouldn’t you know it — Rocky made more, of the human and canine varieties. (To respect the privacy of others, I didn’t take pictures of any new friends.)

Here’s B, posing on the slide. What is it with kids? All you have to say is “smile” and here come the silly poses. Love it.

My husband, Lonnie, with his new baby. I really must tell you the story of how Rocky came to be in our family, and I promise I will do just that…soon. I had nothing to do with it, I swear! And that’s unusual, because if a new animal arrives in our family, it’s usually my doing.

Our fluffball. One of Rocky’s new friends, a three-year-old named Evan, exclaimed, “He has no eyes!” but ran off without waiting to hear my reply. I tried to tell him that Rocky did have eyes, they were just hiding, but someone must have yelled, “SQUIRREL!” because Evan was already zipping off in another direction.

And now…it’s me, incognito. Wearing my short wig, hiding behind my sunglasses and an extremely fluffy dog. I can’t wait until my hair is ready for it’s public debut so I can show it off (it’s about 1-1/2″ long, but still a little scruffy looking).

This week, I’m heading to a few different appointments…one with the plastic surgeon, one with the radiation oncologist, and one for my Herceptin infusion. I’d like to say I’m feeling empowered by checking off all of these milestones, etc., but the truth is that I’m feeling emotionally raw. I’m cranky, I’m moody, I cry a lot, I don’t want to see people (unless I know them very well), and I just want this to all be over with. I’m scared about the future. But that’s today. Tomorrow I could feel really great and optimistic. I sincerely hope that tomorrow I feel really great and optimistic.

The emotions, I guess, are as much a part of the getting-through-cancer process as anything else. Being what they are, they need to be experienced, and not shoved down and denied, but sometimes a good escape from them is even better. Today at the park was a good day…a good escape day. I learned a lesson: to get out more. To go have fun…to breathe fresh air…to get away from the same old surroundings.

If you’re fighting the same battle (or a battle of another kind), I hope you’ll do the same. Get out. Have fun. Enjoy the sunshine. I believe in the mind-body connection…as the mind thinks, the body responds — it’s proven. More on that in another post.

Have a great Monday!