CrazyBusy Mama! (Dot Calm)

By Guest Blogger Aurelia Williams, author of Balancing Work and Family


The trend of moms working from home to be near their children has grown in the last couple of years. Now that they have found jobs or businesses to run, they’re starting to realize that working from home is not as easy as they thought it would be. The work they do is hard to separate form their personal lives, which makes it hard to schedule time for work responsibilities and home duties.

The workspace these moms use to do their jobs at ends up being a part of their household, so that makes dividing work and home life even more difficult to do — and one of the motivating reasons for creating my Balancing Work and Family guide. Imagine that your office is a part of the dining room, which also happens to be the room where you eat your meals as a family. How easy is it going to be for you to leave your work life to be with your family when the office is 5 feet away from the dinner table?

The realities of dividing work and personal life can get smudged for work at home moms. When that happens, one’s stress level is sure to rise, which could jeopardize one’s sanity. To prevent your sanity from leaving, you should find ways to ensure that separation takes place between your job/business and your family life.

Assess the current situation. Try to find an area, within your home, to have your office so that it won’t interfere with your family life. The home office needs a room with a door where you can be apart from the rest of the house. A den or a garage can be converted into office space that is exclusive to your business. Some people have resorted to placing their office in the laundry room, just because it has a door! When that is not an option, set up shop in your bedroom to keep it away from the family areas.

Organization is the next step. A messy desk can be a huge distraction when trying to work. Everything needs to have its place. If you worked in an office, your boss would not stand for a messy work space. There’s no difference when you’re office is at home and not at the worksite.

Use inexpensive organizing items, such as baskets with separate compartments to help organize the odds and ends on your desk. You can keep rubber stamps, letters, invoices, pens, pencils, and the like in here. Organization makes finding things much easier, which results in a more relaxed work day.

Keep your business phone separate from the family phone line. When using the same line, you run the risk of your children answering business calls or picking up the phone during a conference call. This causes your professionalism to fly right out the window and takes your customers or employers along with it.

The same goes for the computer. It’s best to keep your business computer separate from what the other family members use, but budgets don’t always allow for this. In that case, make sure that the business/job files and documents can’t be easily accessed by anyone but you. This will help prevent some of the stress that could be brought on by family members stumbling on a client’s important document and accidentally deleting them.

Be sure to use calendars or planners as they are very helpful when trying to keep track of business appointments or deadlines and family appointments. This will lessen the stress of setting up family appointments when you’ve forgotten about business deadlines you have.

Consider hiring a sitter on days you have a lot of work to do. Being a work at home mom gives you the benefit of controlling your own schedule. Having a sitter keeps the kids away from your office and gives you quiet time to focus on your work and gives your kids a chance to have fun without you feeling too guilty.

Mixing business with family in the home setting can be a major source of stress. Keeping the business side of your life organized and separate is crucial to success in keeping your stress levels down and your sanity intact.

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Get More Help:

Working at home can be extremely rewarding, but it’s challenging. Get the help you need with Real Life Guidance to Balancing Work and Family. It’s your practical guide to tracking your time, setting priorities, learning to say no and achieving that balance you strive for.

For those of us trying to watch our weight, the holidays can be tough. We find ourselves surrounded by snacks and sweets, and though we know we should eat only in moderation, emotions associated with the holiday season can blow all self-discipline out the window. If we’re sad, stressed, or frustrated, it’s easy to think, “I deserve this,” or simply, “Who cares?”

Jillian Michaels has written a great — and short — article on “4 Ways to Make Yourself Feel Better Other Than Eating. You’ll learn some ideas to help yourself soothe those emotions in ways that don’t involve food and won’t make you hate yourself the next time you look in the mirror
(you shouldn’t be hating yourself, anyway, but that’s another blog post). We all need a little TLC once in a while, and I think she’s got some ideas worth reading.

I will add one other outlet for your pent-up emotional energy that Jillian didn’t mention: exercise. I know — weird that Jillian Michaels didn’t mention exercise, but she’s so well-known now that perhaps that’s just a given.

Nonetheless — get out there and do something when those emotions have got you down (or ready to scream). I went for a run with my daughter yesterday, and boy, I felt good afterward. I felt like I’d given it my all, but actually had some energy post-running. A little while later, we drove to the mall, and the mellowness kicked in on the way there. Not a blah, depressed mellowness, but a good, peaceful feeling. It occurred to me later that it was from running. (My daughter even said, “What’s wrong with you?” I had to convince her I really was fine — just mellow!)

Read more about the benefits and basics of running here.

Yes, I know the holidays are almost over, but New Year’s Eve is still on the docket, as is New Year’s Day. If you have more get-togethers planned, take a look at Jillian’s article and remember there are other ways to soothe a sad or cranky soul than by eating.

Happy New Year!

©2009 Sally Dinius
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Sally Dinius is writer-in-chief here at CrazyBusyMama.com, a blog created to inspire and motivate busy mamas everywhere to feel healthy, fit, and in control of their lives. Follow her on Twitter at http://twitter.com/sdinius, and become a member of the CrazyBusy Mama Facebook fan page by clicking here.

I’ve been thinking about excuses lately. I’ve personally been very good at making lots of them, thinking up plenty of reasons over the years as to why I couldn’t get in shape, eat healthy, etc. But ever since I made the choice to change my life, I’ve been blowing some of those excuses out of the water. I’d like to share them with you.

“I can’t exercise because I have this or that physical problem.” When I was 19, I had knee surgery for a cartilage problem in my left knee. I also have it in my other knee, and both can still be very noisy when take I the stairs or kneel . As far as exercise, the crackling sound makes doing lunges quite comical. When I was 12, I was diagnosed with scoliosis, and with fibromyalgia about 10 years ago. The cherry on top of all of this: I also suffer from one or two migraines a month. So what did I do? I stopped listening to myself whine about my knees (they’ve both gotten stronger, thanks to working out), I rarely notice my fibromyalgia anymore, and when the migraines hit, I lay low and allow my body to rest. When the pain lessens, I’m back to my workouts. What’s your excuse? Everyone can do something.


“I’m too tired to make healthy meals for my family.” This excuse can be scrubbed out with a little planning and effort. Do what I did: Motivate yourself by reading about all the ways healthy eating can benefit your family, and how junk food harms their bodies. You’ll find yourself more motivated to make meals that are good for all of you.

“I’m too tired…period.” If you have a physical condition that is causing fatigue, please check with your doctor before starting an exercise program. If you’re otherwise healthy, you may be surprised to know that exercise – hard work that it can be – will actually give you more energy and help you to sleep better at night. I’m living proof. I have more energy now (previously sapped by my fibromyalgia and poor health habits) than I’ve ever had in my life. I feel great! Also, make sure you’re getting enough sleep.

“I don’t have the time/I’m too busy.” You’ve probably heard the phrase, “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.” It’s true. If you let the trivial busyness of the day take over, hoping to fit in a workout somewhere along the line, it won’t happen. Make it a priority. If you use a planner, schedule it as an appointment.

“I’ll start exercising when my life calms down … I’m under too much stress right now.” My doctor once told me, “If you don’t let the stress out, it will find its own way out.” Ominous words, but very true. Stress left unchecked can cause a host of health issues. Exercise, therefore, is an excellent stress-reliever. During one weekend that was hard for our family, my daughter Erica and I both felt the need to get outside and just walk. We went around our block at a good pace twice (joined for a portion of it by our neighbor’s black lab), joked around a little, and felt pretty good by the time we got home. Was the stress and worry over a particular situation (my husband’s health) totally gone? No, but we both felt better able to manage it. So, really, when it comes to exercise, there’s no time like the present.

Here’s a simple thing to do: Take a few moments to think about the excuses you’ve been making when it comes to getting in shape, then write those excuses down. Next, think of a rebuttal for each excuse, and write that down, too. For example, if you wrote, “I don’t have time to exercise,” you can counter that with: “I can fit in a brisk, 15-minute walk every day.” If walking isn’t your thing, try the 10-minute workouts on ExerciseTV.tv, or through your cable TV provider (I do the workouts that I find on Exercise TV through the Sports and Fitness Channel on Comcast’s OnDemand).

Remember: No more excuses!

©2009 Sally Dinius
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Sally Dinius is writer-in-chief here at CrazyBusyMama.com, a blog created to inspire and motivate busy mamas everywhere to feel healthy, fit, and in control of their lives.

Ladies, it’s 2009: If you’re a mom, you’re busy. More than likely, you’re a little crazy, too. Aren’t we all? If we aren’t made that way by nature, we’re rendered helpless and hopeless by the hormones that street race through our bodies…or we’re driven just a little bit nuts by our children. Thankfully, the last two categories of crazy are usually temporary.

Toss in stress, and we’re done for. Yesterday, for example, I was a mess. I’m usually a fairly mellow, strong-on-the-inside kind of girl. But I had monster stress, wacky hormones, and too much left-over Easter chocolate body-slamming each other inside my body all day. I was irritable, weepy, and finding dumb things a little too funny…not all at once, but it sure felt like it. Talk about scary…it was my own private version of “Pollyanna Has a Meltdown.”

Come on…you know what I’m talking about.

Don’t worry, though — this blog isn’t about how crazy hormones combined with too much sugar can make us (though I don’t promise that it won’t come up again). CrazyBusyMama (Dot Calm) is all about life as a mom in a society that’s plenty crazy and busy all by itself…a society that is often the cause (or the instigator) of our own crazybusy lives.

Let’s cope together, okay? Scratch that — let’s relish life together! Coping is for people who are muddling through. I’ve been a muddle-headed muddler for far too long in my life. By the way, Webster’s defines muddle as:

verb 1 Mix up; confuse   2 Act confusedly

Muddle-headed, therefore, means:

(adj.) confused

Are you confused? Hey, I finally know what I want to do with my life. (At 39, better late than never really applies here.) Whether you’re at the same point or still feeling somewhat muddle-headed and long to see clearly, welcome!