Breast Cancer, Chemo, and … Homeschooling?


Bethany, our five-year-old, tagged along this week to my chemo appointment. They’re getting to know her a little bit at SCCA, and oddly enough, she likes going. I think it’s partly because she’s joined to me at the hip, but she also likes going to the snack room with her daddy when I’m zonked from the Benedryl. ;-)

Normally, she would have been in school, but we made the decision last week to bring her back home. It wasn’t a spur-of-the-moment thing — we’d actually been discussing it for a few weeks, mostly over Christmas break.

Kids are resilient — I’ve always believed that, but ongoing stress is another issue. That’ll wreck anyone. This has been a hard year for our family, and while it’s tempting (wishful?) to think that our young ones aren’t affected very deeply by loss and a sick parent, they really are. Bethany is a thinker…and a catcher-onner…she misses nothing, and we have, therefore, learned to be careful in what we say around her. She heard me mention the “s” word today (that would be “surgery,” which I’ve got coming up next month), and immediately began asking me about it. Oops.

She still talks about her Grampa everyday, who we lost back in September, and her own fear of dying. I have to tell her that I’m sure she’ll still be alive when Jesus comes back — that’s the only answer about her own mortality she’ll settle for.

What made us decide to bring her home…to homeschool her…were the obvious signs of stress and anxiety she was showing. It was odd, because she loves her teacher, Mrs. Baldwin, and her sweet little friends from her class. But she began to say she felt pain, that she felt sick, that she was having headaches, and even worked herself up so much that she threw up in class and at home just at the thought of going to school. She also said a couple of boys weren’t nice to her (mostly they were just saying they were going to marry her).

The conclusion I came up with, eventually, is that my baby is still very much a baby who needs her mama. She’s suffering from separation anxiety, made worse (or caused by?) the loss of her Grampa and worrying about me. Mostly, I think it’s just from losing Grampa, as I try to keep things very normal and light around here regarding my illness (I even made losing my hair a funny thing instead of a scary one — try pulling that one off). Anyway, I figure that as long as I’m alive (which I intend to be for many more years, God willing), and she wants to be with me, she will be.

Since we made the decision to keep her home, ALL of her anxiety symptoms have faded away. It was the right decision to make, and a very comfortable one, as I also taught her older siblings at home for 10-12 years. (One has graduated and the other two are currently attending public high school.)

So, we’ll see where this next chapter leads us. I’ve always been a “relaxed homeschooler” — one who is more content to sit on the couch with the kids while we “do school.” What’s better than cuddling while reading with your little ones? Not much.

Whether or not she’ll come with us to SCCA next time remains to be seen. My “Benedryl nap” on Monday kept getting interrupted by the Disney Channel and bloops from her Leapster game. But it was still a joy to snuggle with her while getting my chemo. She’s comfort for my soul wrapped up in a little girl’s body. :-)

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Sally Dinius is writer-in-chief here at CrazyBusyMama.com, a blog created to inspire and motivate busy mamas everywhere to feel healthy, fit, and in control of their lives. Follow her on Twitter at http://twitter.com/sallydinius, and come join the CrazyBusy Mama Facebook page by clicking here. And don’t forget to check out the new CrazyBusy Mama Quick Guides available for your Kindle or Kindle app!

Healthy Sack Lunches: Feed Your Kids THIS, Not THAT


Today, I’m featuring another important repost from days gone by; this one from about a year ago. It’s so important to make the extra effort in choosing the foods our kids eat. They develop a taste for what we feed them, be it good or bad, homemade or McDonald’s, whole foods or processed. All it takes is a scanning of the label and a refusal to buy garbage. Read on!

I have a confession to make: I got a little spoiled this summer. With three teens and a four-year-old, it was nice only having to make lunch for one of them. The older ones were on their own when it came to making their lunches, and didn’t seem to mind one bit.

Now that school has begun again (for two of them, anyway — one graduated last June), I’m back to my job as chief lunch maker. They do make their own lunches to take on occasion, but I’m still the one who decides which foods will be in the cupboards and fridge to pick from.

The hardest part, for me, is variety — making sure they don’t get tired of the same-old, same-old. The easiest part is making sure they’re not getting junk, and it’s easy for one reason: I read food packaging labels and I know what I’m looking for.

My “dream lunch” to send to school with my kids would be something like this:

Turkey sandwich on whole wheat
Fruit
Veggies with healthy ranch dip
Crackers with no added MSG, sugar, or high fructose corn syrup
Water or milk

But…that’s not always possible, nor what they want on a daily basis. Sometimes I’ll give in (Doritos, cookies), but only a little, and not too often. It’s easy to throw a lunch together with conveniently-packaged snack foods from the grocery store, but it really doesn’t take that much effort to make it healthier.

At the very least, keep an eye out at the grocery store (yes, read labels while you’re shopping) for the usual criminals: monosodium glutamate (a.k.a. MSG), high fructose corn syrup (HFSC), bad fats, and artificial sweeteners.

Why? MSG is a known neurotoxin that never leaves the human body and has been proven to cause allergic reactions in sensitive individuals. HFCS can wreak havoc on the body and is thought to make certain people more prone to developing diabetes, and artificial sweeteners like aspartame, sucralose (Splenda), Nutra Sweet, and others are chemically derived, can cause symptoms like headaches and depression, and can contribute to obesity by actually causing you to actually crave real sugar…after all, you can’t really fool your own body — at least not for very long.

I’m always amazed at how many prepackaged foods contain food additives like the ones mentioned above. (MSG is also known by many other names. Read this post to learn more.)

We parents hold our children’s health in our hands…literally. It is vital to make sure we’re feeding them the healthiest foods possible and are teaching them good habits now. I realize it’s not always possible to keep this stuff out of our cupboards (especially if you aren’t the only grocery shopper in your family), but at least getting started — and making changes, no matter how small — is the important thing.

In the spirit of the highly popular book series, Eat This, Not That, I’d like to share with you some good substitutes for your kids’ school lunches. I’ve compiled a list of common not-so-healthy lunchbox items and their more nutritious counterparts (notice I didn’t say “perfect,” just “more nutritious”). You’ll notice that some of the items do contain sugar, but when it comes right down to it, I’d rather my kids have a small amount of sugar than HFCS or chemically-derived artificial sweeteners. Our bodies at least know what to do with regular sugar (eat it or store it as fat), but simply gets confused by the others.

Peanut butter. Here is a good example of choosing “the lesser of two evils.” I know what you’re thinking…how could peanut butter possibly be evil? I love peanut butter as much as the next kid (I’m a kid at heart), but there are two things to watch out for: calories and fats. Rather than do an all-out comparison, I’ll just recommend two brands that I’ve bought, eaten, and fed to my own family.

The first is Skippy Natural Creamy Peanut Butter. The only ingredients are roasted peanuts, sugar (3 g. per 2 tbsp.), palm oil, and salt. There’s much debate about palm oil, but it’s healthier than regular Skippy Peanut Butter, which contains cottonseed, soybean, and rapeseed oils. (Oops, I guess I just did a comparison.) Skippy Natural has 190 calories per two tablespoons; 140 of those are from fat.

The second I’m going to recommend is Adam’s 100% Natural Creamy Peanut Butter. It has more calories at 210 per two tablespoons, 150 of those being from fat. Yikes. However, its only ingredients are roasted peanuts and salt. Adam’s Peanut Butter is an acquired taste, I’ll admit, especially if your kids are used to regular peanut butter, which is sweeter and more processed.

Jelly and/or Jam. Do NOT buy “low sugar” or “sugar free” unless it’s from the nutrition section of the store. I can pretty much guarantee it will contain artificial sweeteners. (Smucker’s Simply Fruit “Low Sugar” variety has the NutraSweet logo right on the label.) Also, avoid jams and jellies with HFCS. My favorite sweetened-with-sugar-only brand is Danish Orchards.

Crackers. Many store-bought cracker varieties contain MSG and HFCS. There’s no need for it! It’s one of my chief frustrations while shopping to see foods that are full of this garbage being marketed toward our children. Even Cheez-It crackers — the regular variety contains MSG. The same brand’s whole grain variety does not, so if your kids like Cheez-Its as much as mine do, get the whole grain ones. They don’t taste ANY different.

Update: You can also try making your own crackers that aren’t full of the preservatives and flavor enhancers like many of the store brands are. Do a Google search for “healthy cracker recipes” and you’ll find more than you can possibly use.

Capri Sun. Ah, memories. My mom put Capri Sun pouches in my lunch when I was in junior high school (back in the…ahem…early 80s). There are more varieties of Capri Sun now, so being a vigilant parent is very important if you buy them for your kids. Depending on the variety, you could be giving your kids HFCS or artificial sweeteners (sucralose, in this case, which caused serious depression in me last year…so I know first hand how bad it is). Stay away, for example, from the Roarin’ Waters variety. It’s clear in color, so it makes you think it’s healthier. NOT. Roarin’ Waters contains sucralose, identified as “Splenda brand sweetener” on the ingredients list. If a child can’t have sugar, I can understand why a parent might need to buy items with artificial sweeteners once in a while. HOWEVER, Roarin’ Waters also contains sugar along with the sucralose. If someone could explain the reasoning behind that, go ahead: I’m all ears!

Instead of Roarin’ Waters, buy instead the Original Capri Sun, which is sweetened only with sugar and real juice concentrates. Their Sunrise variety is also sweetened only with sugar, and their 100% Juice line is just as it says…100% juice. See my previous post on Capri Suns here.

Of course, my favorite (and usual) drink to send along with my kids in their lunches is bottled purified water.

I hope this article has given you some “food for thought.” If you remember none of what you read here, at least remember this: READ LABELS before you buy. Steer clear of MSG, high fructose corn syrup, artificial sweeteners, trans fats (and saturated fats, when possible). If it doesn’t sound natural, it most likely isn’t. Also, when you can, avoid unnecessary sugar. A good rule of thumb to keep in mind when reading labels is this: A long list of ingredients gives you a long list of reasons to not buy that particular product.

©2010 Sally Dinius
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Sally Dinius is writer-in-chief here at CrazyBusyMama.com, a blog created to inspire and motivate busy mamas everywhere to feel healthy, fit, and in control of their lives. Follow her on Twitter at http://twitter.com/sdinius, and come join the CrazyBusy Mama Facebook page by clicking here.

Family Time: Grab Those Tacos, er…Moments, Before They’re Gone


I wish I’d taken a picture of it.

Our coffee table in our family room was spread with a red checked tablecloth (one we usually use for outdoor picnics), and absolutely smothered with the makings of an impromptu taco bar. We had the taco meat (ground turkey, of course), grated cheese, chopped lettuce, diced tomatoes, sour cream, and taco sauce, accompanied by refried beans, Spanish rice, apple juice, plates, cups, ice…the works.

And I held in my hand the remote, so I could push the “OK” button to start our movie, “Secretariat.” Soon, we were enjoying our meal and watching what turned out to actually be a really good movie, interrupted just twice by our five-year-old’s requests to go to the bathroom.

It didn’t occur to me until the next day what actually happened: We’d had FAMILY TIME, and it went off without a hitch. Better than that, it was fun. Even my youngest sat still for the whole movie and, finicky eater that she usually is, put away four tacos all by herself.

When I’d tried to pull together family nights in the past, I was usually met with groans because my kids had other things they wanted to do (friends to see, places to go), or they didn’t want to watch any of the movies I’d suggested.

This time, when I said we were having a family movie night, I got shrugs and an “okay” from everyone. My 18-year-old had the night off, no one else had plans, and the only issue was deciding on a movie. Finally I just said, “How about ‘Secretariat’?” And that was that.

It was such a good evening.

Usually, our family is going in different directions, even if we’re all at home. Someone might be playing a video game, someone might be texting a friend, someone might be on the computer, someone else might be watching TV. And it’s easy to let those irreplaceable moments slip by without even trying to grasp them in our hands.

My oldest child is turning 19 this month. My second oldest is turning 17 in April. I’ll have a 16-year-old this fall. And my baby just turned five. Try as I might to slow down the years, I haven’t been able to yet.

I’ve been realizing more and more that time with our families is precious. I don’t mean to sound archaic by using that word — “precious” — but it really is. Like gemstones, those moments are precious. They’re sweet…to be treasured and savored…irreplaceable.

How many more days will we have like this? Before I know it, my kids will be grown and gone, starting families of their own. How much time is robbed from our families by the TV, the Internet, the cell phone? How much time do we give to all the activities we’re convinced our kids have to be involved in so they can grow up well-rounded? (Don’t get me wrong — I think activities like sports, dance, and the like are healthy, but there needs to be balance.)

Think about your own family. When is the last time you got everyone together just to enjoy being together? Just to savor the moments before they’re gone? I encourage you to do that soon. Set aside some time this weekend to do just that. Here are some ideas for things you can do with your family:

  • As we did, have a movie and taco night. Or have pizza, or play a board game.
  • Do you have little ones? If the weather permits it, take a picnic to the park. Your kids can play until they’re tuckered out and be nice and ready to sit and have lunch (and maybe even sleep well for that nap when you get home).
  • Go for a drive. When our kids were younger, we would go for drives out toward Mount Rainier. We wouldn’t always make it there, sometimes stopping at other attractions along the way, but sometimes we did. It was always a good day if we found a little bit of snow for them to stomp around in or throw at each other.
  • Volunteer. Find a nearby soup kitchen and get your kids involved in serving the less fortunate in your community. Not only will that create a memory, but they’ll be learning compassion.
  • Take a walk in your neighborhood, or find a nearby walking trail.
  • Spend the day at the local aquarium or zoo.

I hope that’s given you a good starting point. It doesn’t matter what you choose for your family time as long as you just make it happen.

I’d love to hear your thoughts and how your family spends time together. Leave a comment below!

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Sally Dinius is writer-in-chief here at CrazyBusyMama.com, a blog created to inspire and motivate busy mamas everywhere to feel healthy, fit, and in control of their lives. Follow her on Twitter at http://twitter.com/sdinius, and come join the CrazyBusy Mama Facebook page by clicking here.