CrazyBusy Mama! (Dot Calm)

My number one frustration as a work-at-home mom is distraction. I can have the best intentions as far as what I want to accomplish, my planner can be utilized perfectly, and I can even have my “game on” (meaning my mind is sharp and raring to go).

But without fail, a family member will need me or want to talk. If I’m deep in thought about a project, the interruption is like fingernails on a chalkboard.

Don’t get me wrong; I love my family and I love having them near. It’s not that they’re being disrespectful or don’t care that I need to work…I believe the real story is that I haven’t made the line in the sand quite clear enough.

It’s healthy — it really is — for the members of our families to learn to respect the times when we need to work without interruption. If we can’t complete a thought in our heads, we’re not going to be able to bring in any money, right? That said, we also need to make sure there’s a balance, and I’ll get to that in just a bit.

I’d like to share with you some tips that have helped me. Some I’ve learned from others, while some I’ve come up with out of sheer desperation.

1. Put on your headphones. You don’t have to really be listening to anything, just ignore whoever’s talking to you, snap your fingers to whatever rhythm you can think of, and bob your head up and down to the “music.”

Or really listen to something, if you can work with background music (or a podcast, etc.). I am, at this very moment, listening to my new favorite singer, Shawn Mullins.

2. Do you have an office or other designated room where you work? Hang up a sign that says, “Do not disturb.” Mary Engelbreit, author and illustrator, has a sign above her studio that reads, “No one gets in to see the wizard…no way, no how.”

3. Get a babysitter. If the babysitter keeps interrupting you, find another. If that doesn’t work, get off-site childcare for at least a few days a week.

4. Get off-site yourself. Go to Starbucks or the library (take those headphones with you, just in case). Wear sunglasses if you think you might be recognized. Dark sunglasses. And a hat.

5. Older children can keep younger ones preoccupied, at least for a little while. However, if you happen to have a clingy toddler who doesn’t want anyone but you…see #4.

6. If they still don’t get it, have a family meeting. Ignore the pouty faces and stick to your guns. But make it an “if, then” meeting. Tell your kids, “If I can work without interruption between (fill in the hours), I’ll play a board game with you (or take you to the park, etc.).”

7. Most importantly…give a little. Kids need their moms, husbands need their wives. Don’t be a work-a-holic, working for too many hours on end. Try to work for a set period each day and spend the rest with those you love…and who love you. Balance is key. If they feel like they’re getting enough time with you, they’ll be less likely to interrupt when you really need to work.

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We all have days when the saying “no rest for the weary” really hits home. Funny how that weary person is usually mom, huh?  We moms take care of hearth and home, but who takes care of us?  We go, go, go from the minute our feet hit the floor, and — most days — keep that pace until our heads hit the pillow each night.

Moms have an incredible capacity to nurture others…but that type of care can really take its toll.  If you are a “crazybusy mama,” it is vital that you learn to value yourself as a person and schedule some time just for you.

A car is filled with gas to make it run — we all know that.  Eventually the gas runs out and your car won’t move until it’s fueled up again.  The same goes for you.  Mom time refuels the tank so that you can give to your family as well as yourself in equal measure.  Don’t be ashamed to sit for fifteen minutes doing nothing.  In the springtime, relaxing in a hammock under a tree is the perfect getaway from the pressures of the day.  Reading a book for 30 minutes can also seem like heaven to many moms.

Case in point: As I sit here writing, I’ve had to tell each of my kids that they could not turn on the TV.  Once in a while, a quiet Friday night is okay. I explained that I live here, too, so sometimes it’s my turn to decide what we’ll watch. I happened to decide that the TV would stay off tonight. And that’s okay — our house is noisy enough during daytime hours. This quiet is water in the desert.

One way to guage whether or not you’re needing some “you time” is to think about how often you get cranky with your family or others. Emotional issues can develop when you don’t take the time to take care of your well-being (spiritual, emotional, and mental), not to mention the physical results of emotional neglect.

Here are some tips to help you fit in some much-needed time for yourself:

1. Get up earlier in the mornings. Once everyone is up and moving around, your day can go from 0-60 mph just like that.  Waking 30 minutes to an hour ahead of time means quiet solitude to drink your coffee, read a book, pray, or listen to music.  

2. Turn ordinary experiences into memorable events.  When you take a bath, add some candles, essential oils, quiet music and/or an inflatable bath pillow.  Your regular bath has now become a spa-level experience.  If you’d rather watch a movie, then turn out the lights and curl up on the couch with your very own bag of microwave popcorn (or your snack of choice).

3. Ask your significant other for help.  Kids love their mothers but time spent with dad is important, too.  Let them bond with dad while you go shopping for a new outfit or work in the garden.  Since the time is yours, spend it however you like.  

4. Use the Boy Scout motto.  (Yes, really.) “Always be prepared” and you’ll find yourself spending more time in a relaxed mode.  Fix lunches the night before.  Iron clothes for the next day and place backpacks by the front door so kids can grab them on their way out.  The fewer things you have to do throughout the day, the calmer you will be around your family. The times you feel burned out will be few and far between, and “catastrophes” that would otherwise seem like mountains will actually look quite small. You’ll feel ready for anything!

5. Take exercise breaks.  When you get a few minutes the last thing you want to do is exercise but getting a little physical activity in your day has far-reaching implications.  Exercise helps you to think clearly and stretches the muscles.  Also, stress will drain away as powerful endorphins are released into your system.  Do jumping jacks during a television commercial or jog to the bus stop to pick up the kids.

6. Laugh…just laugh.  Keep a funny calendar cube on your desk or subscribe to a daily joke site. Or come back here and watch the funny videos in the upper right corner (refresh the page to see a new one). Laughing releases stress and can lift your spirits big time.  It also keeps the abs tight…and who doesn’t like that?

Don’t put this off until tomorrow (unless you’ve actually got your time scheduled in your planner). Taking care of yourself is so important — it’s like a gift for your family.  You owe it to yourself and them to do this (and yes, you do deserve it).