CrazyBusy Mama! (Dot Calm)

Have you ever “blessed” your family?

Dictionary.com gives several definitions for bless, but this one fits what I’m talking about best: “To confer prosperity or happiness upon.”

Frankly, at this point in time for our family, I cannot “confer prosperity” upon anyone. But I can make an effort to make someone else happy…and oftentimes, that’s easier to do than we think.

I desperately want to be a “glass half-full” kind of person. I try; I really do. But when I am confronted by stress, anxiety, and one disappointment after another, sometimes that glass just looks empty and no one can tell me otherwise.

For a good few weeks — at least — I was in a funk…a really bad, bad mood. I was filled with worry and a host of other joy-draining emotions, and everything I looked at was seen through that drab veil.

I finally shook myself out of my fog a couple of weeks ago (though it keeps threatening to come back, I’ll admit). My 15 year-old daughter has been going through a very difficult time lately, and while listening to her pain, I realized with a start that I’d been focusing on all the things that don’t matter, and neglecting the people who do: my family.

So I stepped away from my online work for about a week (except for “checking in” here and there when I had free moments), and decided to “confer some happiness” upon my family.

How? For starters, I cleared out some clutter. Clutter is a huge stress-magnifier, and sometimes a stress-causer. We’re a family of six living in about 2,100 square feet…clutter happens. But it’s still possible to get things picked up and put in order.

I also gave some of our furniture pieces an extreme makeover with a couple cans of glossy black paint. In a day and a half, I tackled a bookcase for my four-year-old, our huge kitchen table that must weight a ton, the benches that go with it, our living room coffee table, and a small antique chest of drawers. I know that sounds like a lot of black, but trust me — it looks good. Better yet, it looks new. It’s amazing how updating and improving your surroundings can also improve your mood. It worked for us!

Besides straightening up, clearing out, and painting, I also decided to bless my family in other ways. I haven’t felt like decorating for Christmas, but did it, anyway. (Actually, my daughter started it.) We’ve been making an effort to spend time together, watching a few Christmas movies here and there, and sharing quite a few cups of hot chocolate.

Blessing your family — doing what you can to lift their mood — can mean some real work on your part, even if it’s as small as grabbing the hair on the top of your head and pulling yourself out of the pit you’re in.

If things are tough for you…as they are right now for us…don’t let the season go by in a miserable blur. The joy of this season isn’t about what you have, it’s about who you’ve got. And if you don’t have anyone to spend the holidays with, get out there and bless someone else who’s lonely and feeling down (there’s no end to the supply of lonely people).

Make an effort. Find fun activities to enjoy with your family…many are free to the public. Or stay home and play a board game while having hot chocolate (or apple cider, perhaps) and snacks.

One important thing we do to foster family togetherness during this season is to celebrate Advent. There’s just something about the tradition of it that pulls up together — the kids expect it each year…even my older ones. Because our schedules don’t always mesh, we don’t get to it every night (and when we do, not everyone is home to do it), but we do celebrate it as often as possible. My four-year-old, in fact, is very upset when we don’t!

It’s less than two weeks until Christmas. That may not seem like much time…and I guess it isn’t…but it’s plenty of time to make a few memories.

Now go on — you’ve got a family to bless.

©2010 Sally Dinius
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Sally Dinius is writer-in-chief here at CrazyBusyMama.com, a blog created to inspire and motivate busy mamas everywhere to feel healthy, fit, and in control of their lives. Follow her on Twitter at http://twitter.com/sdinius, and come join the CrazyBusy Mama Facebook page by clicking here.

Does this ever happen to you?

The holidays go by in a crinkly blur, and you’re left standing in the middle of wadded-up wrapping paper and worn-out decorations, scratching your head and asking:

“What in the heck just happened?”

Most of us, I think, go into the holiday season that way — we just let it happen. I’ve found, though, that the holidays I’ve enjoyed the most have been the ones I’ve taken time to plan. When I write down my Thanksgiving menu and the ingredients I need, meal prep is easier and the day is more enjoyable. Sending out Christmas cards isn’t so difficult if I make a list beforehand of who we’ll be sending them to. Having the cards, envelopes, pictures and stamps together in one box or basket that I can carry around with me (to fill them out wherever and whenever the mood strikes) is helpful, too.

Another wise practice is to keep all of your Christmas decorations in one place. My family and I broke that cardinal rule this year. I found two plastic totes in our utility room full of Christmas things (mostly my snowman collection), and various other things were in what I call our “Christmas Trunk.” It’s an old steamer trunk at the foot of our bed. Most years, it’s no big deal getting into the trunk: just flip the latches and lift the lid. But earlier this year, it was forced into double duty as a TV stand. The TV is an older one that is too heavy for me to lift on my own, so my sons helped with that.

After the totes and trunk had been gone through, along with a cupboard in our laundry/utility room, I found out why being unorganized can bite you in the rear: Our Advent wreath is missing. And because Sunday was the first Sunday of the Advent season, we weren’t able to begin our celebration, which includes candle lighting, the singing of carols or hymns, and reading Bible verses and a Christmas story or two.

The search for the wreath will continue tomorrow. Hopefully it won’t culminate with me buying a new one, because that’s when I’ll find the one that’s missing (it always works that way). And then I’ll have two.

If you’re like me and tend to let the holidays happen to you rather than the other way around, here are a few links to help you reign in some otherwise crazy days:

1. If you’re hosting a Christmas party or family get-together, Party411‘s Christmas Party Planning Guide will give you lots of ideas and help you feel at least a little bit sane. It’s a fun site to go through, so be ready to print out ideas you like — or at least have a notepad ready to write them down.

2. The interior decorating channel at About.com has a fantastic, short and simple article on how to plan for Christmas. I’m not going to recommend any other “get organized” list to you. This one’s pretty much perfect. Why? It’s the KISS principle: Keep it Simple, Sweetheart (or as I learned it years ago: Keep it Simple, Stupid…which isn’t very nice). This article tells you a few great ways to simplify without getting too complicated. I don’t know about you, but if I have too many things on my list, my brain shuts down and I start playing games on my computer. Yes, I did just admit that.

3. Once you’ve decided what you need to plan for, write it down.
There are many ways to keep track of your list (or lists) electronically (such as in a note to yourself on your iPhone, et al), but I really like the good, old-fashioned write-it-down method, and I prefer to do that in a planner. The Busy Body Book is my all-time favorite planner. Each week is broken into five columns, which gives you five boxes to write in for each day. These columns can be used for anything: different family members (good for seeing what each child has going on that week at one glance), or use them to organize household tasks, work-related activities, or even…yes…the holidays. It’s very inexpensive and I think you’ll love it as much as I do.

So, if you haven’t already figured it out, the best holiday stress-reliever is…planning. Delegating follows at a very close second — please don’t think you have to do it all yourself.

Do you plan or delegate to lessen the stress of the holidays? I’d love to hear your strategies!

©2009 Sally Dinius
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Sally Dinius is writer-in-chief here at CrazyBusyMama.com, a blog created to inspire and motivate busy mamas everywhere to feel healthy, fit, and in control of their lives. Follow her on Twitter at http://twitter.com/sdinius, and come join the CrazyBusy Mama Facebook page by clicking here.