CrazyBusy Mama! (Dot Calm)

It’s the same thing every morning. First, my alarm clock goes off (set to a very staticky radio station that I never seem to get around to fixing). I smack at it with an arm that had fallen asleep during the night — how ironic is that — then feel around blindly for my glasses. A few minutes later, I’m shuffling down the hallway…holding my trusty iPhone, my cat at my heels.

My husband usually wakes earlier than I do (and I’m up — most days — by 6 or 6:30), so he makes the coffee. I stumble into the kitchen, eyes squeezed shut against the too-bright lights, pour coffee and a little flavored creamer into a travel mug, and wander into the living room (the extent of my travels).

I turn on my phone, read something out of the YouVersion Bible app (my favorite way to start the morning), and sip at my coffee before moving on to the news apps. I am a total news junkie, and just like spending that time with God, not checking the news every morning would just leave me feeling like I was forgetting something. Seriously — I have six news apps on my phone. (I may or may not have just admitted that.)

Next, I move on to check my email inbox, searching through the junk for something sent by a real person — any real person, then it’s on to Facebook to read messages sent to me and to see what others could possible have to say at such an awkwardly early hour (well, early for me — many of my online friends live in entirely different time zones, and some in different countries).

Some mornings I’ll feel a little guilty for starting my day like this. But I’ve come to realize that this is just what I do. It’s how I wake up and prepare for my day. It’s a ritual, and it’s one that’s a part of who I am. I have the luxury…for now, at least…of starting my day off in a very easy-going manner. Why start off frazzled if I don’t need to?

I have no other rituals until the clock strikes 10 o’clock or so. It’s then — provided my wily five-year-old has gone to sleep — that my husband and I sit down in our family room and watch Seinfeld and Frasier reruns. The shows are still funny, and it’s our time together. I love starting and ending my day with these rituals. Somehow, I think it keeps me feeling balanced, if that makes sense.

It’s a rare woman, indeed, who hasn’t experienced some kind of stress-inducing upheaval in her life. Stress and anxiety that sticks around over a prolonged amount of time can also lead to depression (as you may know). Sometimes that depression can be very deep, or it can be such a light fog that it’s become your “new normal” until it’s diagnosed by a professional. In this current time in our nation’s history, when so many are experiencing financial hardship, that very stress+anxiety=depression equation is affecting many, many people.

You may be one of those women, or perhaps you’re facing other issues — small or large — that are causing you to feel some stress in your life. If you don’t have a ritual of your own, I strongly recommend that you create one. Maybe you don’t have an iPhone to have coffee with (sometimes my husband joins in on the conversation, which I also consider part of my morning ritual), and perhaps you can’t stand sitcom reruns, but I’m sure you can think of something you enjoy doing. In fact, you’re probably thinking of it right now.

Rituals are an important part of our lives because they provide a sense of sameness, of stability. We know, almost instinctively, that small children need rituals because those very rituals help them to feel safe and secure. Bedtime, for example, goes a little easier for all involved if the child knows that getting pajamas on, brushing teeth, reading a story, and perhaps a sleepy-time prayer are all a part of the routine. In the same way, rituals can also help us moms, who often feel we carry the weight of our worlds on our shoulders, to feel a little more safe and secure.

If you’re on your computer Facebooking with friends…and coffee…first thing in the morning, that is a ritual. Enjoy it! If you have a favorite show you watch on a regular basis, that’s a ritual, too. Enough with the guilt! Your ritual needs to be something you enjoy, not something someone else thinks you should do (like going for a walk with the dog at o’dark-thirty every day…unless you want to, of course).

Another ritual of mine is working out. Because we’re a busy family of six, I don’t always get to exercise right when I want to, but I consider it a comforting ritual when I’m able to do it. (Though perhaps “comforting” isn’t the best word to describe Jillian Michaels’ “30-Day Shred”!)

So, ladies, if you don’t have a ritual, get one — we all need some semblance of normal in our everyday lives. I would love to hear what your rituals are, if you’d like to share. Leave your comments below.

©2010 Sally Dinius
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Sally Dinius is writer-in-chief here at CrazyBusyMama.com, a blog created to inspire and motivate busy mamas everywhere to feel healthy, fit, and in control of their lives. Follow her on Twitter at http://twitter.com/sallydinius, and come join the CrazyBusy Mama Facebook page by clicking here.

How are you doing this holiday season? Are you looking forward to it? Chomping at the bit to get out and buy those gifts and have family over? Or are you dreading the stress and strain?

U.S. home foreclosures for the third quarter of 2010 were 1 in 139 – a huge figure – so I think I can be pretty sure that a large number of people reading this are struggling financially in some way. I’m going to be very transparent in this post. We all have struggles, and I’m not going to pretend our family is any different at this present time. After all, we all need to know we’re not alone.

I’ve been feeling for a while now that my husband and I have been involuntarily enrolled in what I call “God’s school.” We’ve been hit by this trial and that trial over the last several years, and I know for a fact that we’re supposed to be learning something from it all and not just sitting and wallowing while waiting for the sky to finish falling.

The other day, my oldest son (18) asked me what my least favorite month was. His was November because, here in the Pacific Northwest, everything outdoors is blah…gray skies, a lot of rain, and temps that still aren’t cold enough to snow. When he asked me for my response, I said, “December.” His jaw dropped as if to say, “That’s almost inhuman!” I explained that I just didn’t enjoy that month anymore because of all the stress. In fact, I dreaded it.

Now, what kind of impact did that make on my son? Sure, he’s 18, but still impressionable and still looking to me and his dad for examples in how to live. I wish I’d clapped my hand over my mouth or just fumbled through and said, “I like all the months.” Seriously – there’s nothing wrong with December or Christmas. The problem is with me and my way of looking at it.

When your kids are grown, and they look back on their lives, what will their memories be of the holidays you spent together? They may or may not remember that your family struggled financially, or the things they had to do without. If you make a big deal about it, sure…they might remember. It depends on what your focus is, how big a deal you make of it, and what you talk about. What’s your attitude? What emotions about your situation do you let your children see? Do you want them to look back and remember you as a nervous wreck, someone who was constantly depressed and despairing, or someone who tried to make the best of every situation?

Is your sadness evident on your face, or do you cheer them with a smile? (How easily we adults forget what it’s like to be a child. They feel stress, anxiety, and despair just like we do, and they feel it deeply.)

Life, after all, is full of hills and valleys. It’s like we’re each in our own car, travelling through. We don’t stay in the valleys forever…though some people tend to stop their cars and stay in the valleys longer than they should (that’s called giving up and wallowing). Life is up and down. When you’re down, have faith that the “up” will be coming soon. Start your “car” and get moving.

What you display about your situation is what your children will remember. Whether they look back and remember stress or happiness is up to you – it’s under your control. You don’t have to have a beautiful home and the ability to give them everything they ask for…you simply need to make sure that you’ve decided to be content no matter what your situation is. That is what they’ll remember.

Happy memories can be made from anything. I never lived in a grand home as a child, and it didn’t matter to me. What I do remember are the situations that made an impression on me…and the memories my parents made for me, whether they were good or bad.

I often fall into the trap of thinking that if I can’t do such-and-such with and/or for my kids, it’s not worth doing at all, and many times I find myself sulking about it deeply before I know what’s hit me. That’s just stinkin’ thinkin’ and it’s a bad habit of mine. I am determined to do things differently this year:

I’m going to cheerfully give to others out of what I have – however much it is – and teach my kids to do the same.

I’m going to stare in wonder with my four-year-old at the first snowflake of the season and not let other worries overshadow that little bit of joy.

I’m going to smile whether I feel like it or not.

When I feel like panicking over holiday stress, whatever its cause, I’m going to eat chocolate (just thought I’d throw that in there).

When a negative thought looms on the horizon, I’m going to “flip it” and repeat the opposite (positive) version, instead. If that isn’t possible, I’ll replace that thought with a positive thought of some kind.

I’m going to remember my priorities this holiday season: God, husband, children, others. I’m not going to let drama caused by others disrupt my spiritual peace or the good memories I plan on creating with my hubby and kids. And isn’t the holiday season the time when drama rises up? Why is that? The holidays are happier when we don’t pay attention to it or let it steal our joy.

Finally, I’m going to fill my mind with good things. We may be in different places spiritually, and that’s okay. For me, one way I fill my mind with “good things” is by reading the Bible (I’ve heard it described as the best success book around…and that’s true – it’s full of great principles).

Another way I like to fill my mind with good things is by listening to podcasts that are encouraging. Most are free on iTunes, and some you can even listen to online. I love Zig Ziglar, et al., and my new favorite is a business trainer named Dani Johnson (you don’t have to have a business to listen to her – you’ll be encouraged and inspired all the same). Listening to my favorite music is another way…talking with someone who’s positive and encouraging can help, too.

I’m going to go out of my way to make special memories with my kids: visiting Santa, making cookies, taking walks in the snow (we’re supposed to have more of the white stuff this winter…unusual for Seattle). I’m going to take my kids to Starbucks at least once this holiday season. I’m going to watch sappy, romantic Christmas movies with my husband. I’m going to drink apple cider with whipped cream and not worry about the calories.

I don’t know about you, but I feel better already. I would really love to hear about the memories you’re deciding to make this season, so please share!

And stayed tuned in the coming days — I’ll be sharing with you more ways to make the holidays bright, not just for yourself and your family, but for the less fortunate (because there’s always someone less fortunate than ourselves). Focusing on others is the perfect way to get your joy back.

©2010 Sally Dinius
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Sally Dinius is writer-in-chief here at CrazyBusyMama.com, a blog created to inspire and motivate busy mamas everywhere to feel healthy, fit, and in control of their lives. Follow her on Twitter at http://twitter.com/sdinius, and come join the CrazyBusy Mama Facebook page by clicking here.
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Grooming the Next Generation for Success by Dani Johnson. I am currently reading this very motivational and encouraging book and am having a hard time putting it down. I strongly believe it’s a must-read for EVERY parent!

By guest blogger Janet Davidson

What is the fish oil and anxiety connection? Well, modern science has shown that Omega 3 fatty acids can provide many benefits for the brain, including helping alleviate feelings of depression and mood disorders. That’s why many specialists recommend it as a treatment option.

In the US many of us lack fish oil in our diets and overlook the fact that for a healthy brain and heart we require a specific amount of Omega 3 fatty acids on a daily basis. The best way to ensure that we get what we need without having to eat large quantities of fish everyday is to take supplements. This also helps given the fact that those fish containing high levels of fatty acids (salmon, herring, swordfish etc) can contain large amounts of contaminants as well as mercury, which is definitely not something we are looking for.

When it comes to fish oil and anxiety, it’s best that you invest in a high quality as well as pure product. Ensure that the supplements that you take are 100% percent natural. The purer the product the better the benefits for your health and mind. Freshness also has to be considered; in this way you are sure that the nutrients are not rancid. Always purchased fish oil from a reliable manufacturer, who can guarantee that their product is effective and contains high concentrations of EPA and DHA, the two most essential Omega 3 fatty acids.

You may be asking…can omega 3 improve my mental health and emotions? Is it possible with a supplement? Science has proven time and time again, especially in the recent past that fish oils are having a major positive effect on our lives. Research has shown that there is vast improvement on our emotional state, a reduction in anxiety, depression and many other neurological illnesses, most notably bipolar disorder.

Anxiety sufferers can benefit from omega 3 and it may make it easier for them to lead a normal life. Moods will be more stable and the daily stresses of life will not seem as terrible. You should talk to your doctor and see if it is a viable option, either alone or in conjunction with other treatments.

Fish oil and anxiety seem to go hand in hand these days. Perhaps a daily dosage of natural, pure and fresh omega 3 supplements could be just what you’re looking for to help fight off that anxiety. See if it’s right for you today.

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Janet Davidson is a health researcher focusing on the benefits of Omega 3 fatty acids for overall wellness as well as treating specific health conditions. She contributes to Great Fish Oil, a site discussing the powerful health benefits of high quality fish oil. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com