With three teenagers on Facebook (and a four-year-old who won’t be there for a while, thankfully), I drank up every word of this article by the Krafskys. It’s full of wisdom for those of us who, while we may be social media-savvy ourselves, may not know just how firmly to hold the Facebook reigns when it comes to our kids. Even if your kids are younger, this is great info to read and remember when the time comes. Enjoy! -Ed.
by K. Jason and Kelli Krafsky
We knew the day was coming. “Mom and Dad, can I have a Facebook?”
Silence. The two of us looked at each other waiting for the other one to speak first. More silence gave into that weird moment when no one has said anything for an uncomfortably long period of time.
Rushing through our minds were a hundred stories we’ve heard and another thousand we’ve witnessed with teens and parents on Facebook. We’ve heard (and seen) it all!
A single status update bringing shame to the family name before hundreds, if not thousands of people. A simple online comment causing real-time embarrassment and tension between family members. One quick, thoughtless Wall post erecting huge emotional walls in the parent-child relationship.
When we were writing Facebook and Your Marriage, parents of Facebooking teens were practically begging us to write a book on this topic. And now we know why.
Our dilemma isn’t that we have just one teenager to deal with…but two teenagers (and two more pre-teens in the bay) – which adds a whole other set of scenarios for us to think/stress/worry about.
With whole families now participating in the same online social community, too much is at stake to just throw the kids on Facebook and hope for the best. Good parenting is part trust, part rule maker, and part rule enforcer. As parents, not only do we need to figure out what rules need to be made between the child and parent, but between the siblings as well. And then figure out what the potential consequences are.
After what seemed like an eternity, silence was broken. We looked into those hope-filled eyes and said, “We need to talk about it.” While this was no more than pushing pause on the conversation, we had bought ourselves enough time to discuss all the possible scenarios of having the mom, dad, daughter/sister, and son/brother on Facebook.
What happens on Facebook can and will find itself being a major story plot in the family drama at home. And if that isn’t bad enough, your kid’s Facebook can and will likely be checked by prospective colleges and employers too. This is why it is imperative for parents and kids to talk about some common ground rules while participating in the new favorite American (online) pastime called Facebook.
So we came up with some ground rules for our kids. But ground rules for Facebooking families are not just a one-way street. We discovered there was a need for parents to agree to some ground rules too.
And what happens if the kids break any of the ground rules? Let’s just say their Facebook Friends won’t be seeing their little green dot for awhile.
To save ourselves a lot of headaches and to avoid Facebook-related conversations that include excuses like, “I didn’t know,” “I forgot,” and “You never said that,” we put the ground rules in writing.
Having the parents and kids sign a Facebook Rules Agreement spells out the expectations, and the ground rules everyone will follow.
So here’s seven ground rules we came up with for our kids, and seven ground rules for us as parents, as well as a copy of a Facebook Rules for Our Family Agreement you can easily adapt and customize.
* 7 Facebook Ground Rules for the Kids >>
* 7 Facebook Ground Rules for the Parents >>
* Facebook Rules for Our Family Agreement >>
If your teenager is on (or wanting to get on) Facebook, these ground rules will set in place some clear boundaries, establish some common courtesies, and protect everyone in the family.
DISCUSS THIS ARTICLE ON OUR FACEBOOK PAGE >>
READ OTHER ARTICLES BY THE KRAFSKYS >>
……………………………………………………………………………….
K. Jason and Kelli Krafsky are nationally-recognized specialists in social media and relationships. As “The Facebooking Couple,” they write and speak to bring common sense and healthy boundaries into marriages, families and relationships in this social media age. They are the authors of Facebook and Your Marriage (2010) and have co-written several articles on the topic. Find their articles, tools and tips at FBMarriage.com. The Krafskys live in the foothills of Washington’s Cascade Mountains with their four children. Contact them at FacebookAndYourMarriage.com, on Twitter or through Facebook.
Copyright © 2010 K. Jason and Kelli Krafsky – Permission granted to use and reproduce with proper source citation.
If you’re reading this blog, chances are good it’s because the title, “CrazyBusy Mama,” resonates with you. Chances are also good that your crazybusy life may not let you keep up with CrazyBusy Mama as often as you’d like. I have a few solutions for you; today I’ll fill you in on the first one.
I’m so excited to make the official announcement…right here on CrazyBusy Mama…that I am now also a blogger over at ExerciseTV! I’ve been doing the ExerciseTV workouts with my daughter, Erica, for a while now and we’ve seen such a change in our bodies and lives. It’s the coolest thing to be able to share that journey with the world! Erica will also be giving her take on our continued quest for fitness, and we’ll be sharing our updates as we train for next year’s Race for the Cure in our area. 
