It’s the same thing every morning. First, my alarm clock goes off (set to a very staticky radio station that I never seem to get around to fixing). I smack at it with an arm that had fallen asleep during the night — how ironic is that — then feel around blindly for my glasses. A few minutes later, I’m shuffling down the hallway…holding my trusty iPhone, my cat at my heels.
My husband usually wakes earlier than I do (and I’m up — most days — by 6 or 6:30), so he makes the coffee. I stumble into the kitchen, eyes squeezed shut against the too-bright lights, pour coffee and a little flavored creamer into a travel mug, and wander into the living room (the extent of my travels).
I turn on my phone, read something out of the YouVersion Bible app (my favorite way to start the morning), and sip at my coffee before moving on to the news apps. I am a total news junkie, and just like spending that time with God, not checking the news every morning would just leave me feeling like I was forgetting something. Seriously — I have six news apps on my phone. (I may or may not have just admitted that.)
Next, I move on to check my email inbox, searching through the junk for something sent by a real person — any real person, then it’s on to Facebook to read messages sent to me and to see what others could possible have to say at such an awkwardly early hour (well, early for me — many of my online friends live in entirely different time zones, and some in different countries).
Some mornings I’ll feel a little guilty for starting my day like this. But I’ve come to realize that this is just what I do. It’s how I wake up and prepare for my day. It’s a ritual, and it’s one that’s a part of who I am. I have the luxury…for now, at least…of starting my day off in a very easy-going manner. Why start off frazzled if I don’t need to?
I have no other rituals until the clock strikes 10 o’clock or so. It’s then — provided my wily five-year-old has gone to sleep — that my husband and I sit down in our family room and watch Seinfeld and Frasier reruns. The shows are still funny, and it’s our time together. I love starting and ending my day with these rituals. Somehow, I think it keeps me feeling balanced, if that makes sense.
It’s a rare woman, indeed, who hasn’t experienced some kind of stress-inducing upheaval in her life. Stress and anxiety that sticks around over a prolonged amount of time can also lead to depression (as you may know). Sometimes that depression can be very deep, or it can be such a light fog that it’s become your “new normal” until it’s diagnosed by a professional. In this current time in our nation’s history, when so many are experiencing financial hardship, that very stress+anxiety=depression equation is affecting many, many people.
You may be one of those women, or perhaps you’re facing other issues — small or large — that are causing you to feel some stress in your life. If you don’t have a ritual of your own, I strongly recommend that you create one. Maybe you don’t have an iPhone to have coffee with (sometimes my husband joins in on the conversation, which I also consider part of my morning ritual), and perhaps you can’t stand sitcom reruns, but I’m sure you can think of something you enjoy doing. In fact, you’re probably thinking of it right now.
Rituals are an important part of our lives because they provide a sense of sameness, of stability. We know, almost instinctively, that small children need rituals because those very rituals help them to feel safe and secure. Bedtime, for example, goes a little easier for all involved if the child knows that getting pajamas on, brushing teeth, reading a story, and perhaps a sleepy-time prayer are all a part of the routine. In the same way, rituals can also help us moms, who often feel we carry the weight of our worlds on our shoulders, to feel a little more safe and secure.
If you’re on your computer Facebooking with friends…and coffee…first thing in the morning, that is a ritual. Enjoy it! If you have a favorite show you watch on a regular basis, that’s a ritual, too. Enough with the guilt! Your ritual needs to be something you enjoy, not something someone else thinks you should do (like going for a walk with the dog at o’dark-thirty every day…unless you want to, of course).
Another ritual of mine is working out. Because we’re a busy family of six, I don’t always get to exercise right when I want to, but I consider it a comforting ritual when I’m able to do it. (Though perhaps “comforting” isn’t the best word to describe Jillian Michaels’ “30-Day Shred”!)
So, ladies, if you don’t have a ritual, get one — we all need some semblance of normal in our everyday lives. I would love to hear what your rituals are, if you’d like to share. Leave your comments below. 
©2010 Sally Dinius
=================================================
Sally Dinius is writer-in-chief here at CrazyBusyMama.com, a blog created to inspire and motivate busy mamas everywhere to feel healthy, fit, and in control of their lives. Follow her on Twitter at http://twitter.com/sallydinius, and come join the CrazyBusy Mama Facebook page by clicking here.
workday, to be as productive as possible, in the vain hope that perhaps we won’t have to work late or take work home to catch up.
Building moments of recovery into your work day will enable you to engage in your tasks more fully and passionately. Research has clearly shown that productivity increases when people build in periods of renewal into their work day. Even though they are ‘breaking’ more, they get more done than those choosing to work ‘flat out’. Some of the most creative thinkers (such as daVinci and Einstein) were strong advocates of breaks, to allow their subconscious minds to work out the problem at hand.