How do you fight your battles? I know for me I look for tangible things to focus my hurt and aggression on such as avoidance, distraction, unhealthy habits, and sometimes unfortunately that is others. I have a feeling I am not alone in this tactic, the old saying and one my late husband reminded our kids of so often is that “Hurt People, Hurt People . Easy to say when wrongs are done to us, but a harder pill to swallow when we are that hurt person lashing out and hurting others. I believe most people don't even know they are hurting others simply because they have hurt and pain in their life that have directed at the wrong things, such as those tangible things I just mentioned above because it gives them a false sense of reprieve from their hurt.
My late husband, (still pains me to type that out) was so good at installing nuggets of wisdom into our children every chance he got that today we refer to that wisdom as “Q-ism's” Every chance I get when I am reminded of a Q-ism I want to share it with the world because there is such value in that wisdom that allows me to honor Quintin and to keep his legacy going in my children but also in generations to come. I have shared a little insight on Quintin and his Legacy HERE if you would like to read a bit.
My current battles are none like I have ever experienced. I have had more than my fair share of hurt in my life, but this losing my everything – spouse, best friend, father of my children – is nothing like I have ever experienced before. The grief is literally crippling every minute of the day and there is this real fear of it engulfing me completely. I know I will never be the same again, and finding out my new identity as a single widowed mother is absolutely frightening and a battle that I will continue to fight ever day. This battle is a weary one and I will absolutely need to be equipped with fighting this battle
Grief is tricky and so hard to put into words. I believe, we were never meant to carry this load of grief. It goes back to the very beginning of time in the garden, we were created as immortal beings. Our souls are immortal and not subject to death. Once sin entered the world it destructed Gods perfect plan for our lives and introduced death, a concept that was never meant to be understood. In it's very basic understanding, we were created to know no death so no wonder grief is so extremely heavy. I know this in knowledge, but doesn't make grieving any less difficult just reminds me of the hope that this is not our home.
My public grieving journey has been hard but I forge ahead because I feel a continued prompt from the Holy Spirit. This is a very lonely journey and I am hoping in sharing my pain, others don’t feel so alone in theirs.
After struggling last night with some shade being thrown my way of comments that were very difficult to digest , God reminded me of this verse.
1 PETER 5:8-9
BE ALERT!
AND OF SOBER MIND
YOUR ENEMY THE DEVIL PROWLS AROUND LIKE A ROARING LION LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO DEVOUR.
RESIST HIM,
STANDING FIRM IN THE FAITH, BECAUSE YOU KNOW THAT THE FAMILY OF BELIEVERS THROUGHOUT THE WORLD IS UNDERGOING THE SAME KIND OF SUFFERINGS.
And lo and behold, I woke up to this as the verse of the day on the Bible App. . Talk about a GodWink!! So I knew I had to share. Not sure of th valley or grief that you are currently experiencing or trying to weather but my prayer is you find a sliver hope this morning in His word. If you don't have the YOUVERSION Bible App, I highly recommend downloading it. It's a great way to stay plugged in to Gods word
There are 3 action steps in this verse.
1- Be ALERT
Keep your eyes open. That Satan is out there undermining you trying to kill steal and destroy every good thing in you life. John 10:10 says, “ The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.”
The imagery that is often shown is Satan being depicted as a Lion devouring a sheep. Be aware he is lurking around the corner to steal kill and destroy.
2- Be of Sober Minded
Every day you must renew your mind. Our vision gets clouded in our circumstances much like our Mount Rushmore experience that I shared HERE, that we are blinded to the work God is doing in our lives or can do if we allow Him to renew us daily. Must work daily and pray God to reveal HIMSELF and remove the scale on our eyes with daily scripture and prayer
We do not fighting against flesh and blood…it says in Ephesians 6:12, “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.”
Knowing this is a spiritual battle and an unseen one we must equip ourselves appropriately!
3- RESIST HIM
Resist Satan in the name of Jesus. Do you realize, you have the same power that raised Jesus from the dead within you? USE IT! Stand firm in HIS PROMISE that he has already won the battle. Just like it says in John 16:33, “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
We were never created with DEATH in mind. Again, no wonder I was not able to digest those words. In Proverbs 18:21 it says, “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit” This is an example of life and death, all we were created to know and experience is life so we wrestle with words of destruction and death because simply because we were not created to experience anything but life, and not just life but life in abundance.
Be mindful the words you speak can either build castles or graves my friends, don't get me wrong I am not perfect in this area nor will I pretend to be I get this wrong often and have to ask for forgiveness and pray for redirection, but being aware makes me realize we are fighting a battle that is not flesh and blood but rather a spiritual one. So the knowledge of this in our struggle helps me to equip with the right tools to fight my often time unseen battles.
My prayer in sharing my grief journey with you is you find HOPE in only one source and that is our Heavenly Father. He is the author abundant life, and the ultimate healer in our brokenness. Allow Him to turn your mess into a message.
Today I choose to smile in spite of my pain, and point to Christ as my ultimate healer. I am leaning into HIS promise of healing and restoration of my hurt. I walk by faith and not by sight in this journey.
Every morning, I wake up and share a bit of my heart on my socials. If you are not following me on instagram, you can do so HERE and in this season specifically I am sharing my grief journey. Praying that I can share hope in the midst of my pain and how you too can find purpose in the midst of your valley by remembering Whose you are and who holds you! For those who would like to take a listen you can do so below.
