Letter from Q

Q's Letter Was The Biggest Gift He Could Have Ever Left Me

I would consider myself very fortunate to receive a directive wrapped with tons of encouragement and love letter from my husband in what do to after his passing. I would venture to say most do not have this type of letter especially when a love one passes suddenly, but he always made it a mission to be prepared in the event he wasn't around to take care of us. This act of love, fully embodied who Q was! Its the way he loved us!

Unbeknownst to me, this letter was a guide to helping me make quick decisions within 24 -72 hours of his passing, and has proven itself to be a life line for me this past year as a new widow.

You never know when the final sunset will come in your life…so prepare today!

This picture was taken just a few days before Q's passing, and a treasure! We were at my son Fisher's track meet….He grabbed his phone and said “Lori, look at that sunset isn't amazing? Lets take a pic!” flipped it in selfie mode and took a picture of us with the beautiful sunset. Such a treasure! Little did we know… that a few short days later our lives would be flipped upside down!

Q's STORY

If you hoped on this blog post for the first time and don't know about my precious and beloved Q you can read about his story HERE If you are a member of the unwanted club of widowhood like me, and are in desperate need of resources I urge you to check some resources HERE I am gathering for myself and for others walking this terribly difficult journey too!

Q's Letter:

Quintin was an amazing provider for our family and the way he loved us was making sure that the things that were often forgot about were taken care of. Lets be honest, no one wants to talk about their mortality or plan their own funeral he didn't do this because he wanted to he did it because it was an ultimate act of love toward us.

I laugh now, but he was the one who made it a priority to get life insurance when we were newly married in our early twenties, when most twenty year olds were deciding wether or not to get cable we were preparing for our end of life. Being prepared for the unknown in the best way he could was never about him, was always about making sure that his loved ones wouldn't have to suffer greater than needed in the event he couldn't be there to make decisions. He wasn't afraid to talk about the scary things in order to make sure we were ok, it is the way he loved us! His thoughtfulness was truly a gift.

A Little Background…

Quintin mentioned to me several years ago that he had created such a file on his laptop and left it on his desktop so that in the event I would ever need it, encouraging me it was there and would direct me on what to do if ever needed. If I am being honest, when he mentioned it I brushed it off with slight anger dismissing that I would ever need it. I mean, who expects to lose their healthy husband at 46? When I brushed it off, he reminded me that we are never promised tomorrow and he wanted to leave me in the best hands possible equipped with everything I would need to know. I knew this was his way to love me and the kids.

Like mentioned multi times above, Quintin was always looking out for us in ways we didn't think about. I guess some of that came naturally for him as one of his love languages was acts of service, he was simply loving us through his acts of service and this letter being his ultimate service of love for us. He desired to serve me and the kids even through his death and that is not lost one me.

If you are unfamiliar with LOVE LANGUAGES and how they can directly effect your marriage and relationships you can check out and take the LOVE LANGUAGE TEST HERE – it is one of the very best things we ever did for our marriage! Knowing your love language and how you and your partner give and receive love is a game changer! I highly recommend taking the test and applying the results!

Back to the Letter… THE BIGGEST GIFT YOU CAN GIVE:

Although, I will keep that letter private there are a few things I will share in hopes it will encourage you to take the time to love on your family in the same manner.

Quintin filled this letter with general advice to more detailed advice on the next steps and titled it “Death Info and What to Do” including service wishes, financials, access for passwords, where things where that I may not think of, down to names with contact numbers of those people who would help me manage it all. He covered it all. This directive or “love letter” if you will would prove to be my life line right after my husbands passing.

I re-read this letter often to remind myself of the words he wrote. “I am off to a way better place, so celebrate that, do not mourn me in sadness. Let people know that I want them to know Christ, and celebrate a good run at living a good life. Okay, on to Business...” in which he detailed all the important information to take care of us.

So when I am all in my feels, and guilt or shame starts to creep in, I am reminded of his ultimate service of love for us. Through our tears and sorrow he wants us to be full of joy in celebrating him and honoring him. He put this letter together for us because he knew we would be in great sorrow and the last thing he wanted us to feel burdened by were those hard decisions that unexpected event brought our way.

Of course there will be days of great sorrow, I don't think a day as passed where I don't shed a tear since losing the love of my life, but this letter helps me to know Quintin's wishes for us to find joy in life and carry his memory with a great since of pride knowing he loved Christ and lived life to it's fullest and he wishes for me and the kids to do the very same! There is plenty I won't share publicly about Q's “love letter” but wanted to address it publicly because I know I am not alone in my grief and struggles.

If you are not GRIEVING NOW… Eventually You Will

If you are not grieving now, there will come a time where you will. No one makes it out of life without deep sorrow and grief. We will all grieve the loss of someone very important in our lives. It isn't a matter of IF you will grieve, rather WHEN you will grieve. I don't say this to be mean, I say this because this is a reality of life. If you are married, you or your spouse will go first. Unless you happen to go at the same time one of you will have to be the one to forge ahead and navigate a life of unknowns wondering how you live a life without someone you couldn't live without. I am not sure anything you can do will prepare you for this, but there are things to get in order to help with the grieving process. Are you prepared for this? Is this a conversation that you have had with your loved one?

If you are not walking the journey of losing a spouse you don't know what you don't know, let Q's letter be a reminder of the importance of sharing your wishes with your love. Take the time to have the conversation and write down your wishes including the “business” and personal so they don't have to be weighed down with trying to make those hard decisions in such a difficult time.

Trust me, it is the biggest GIFT he could have ever given us and ONE could ever receive!

His letter proved to be the loving pathway to help me know how to take the next step. I blogged about – HOW TO TAKE THE NEXT STEP – HERE

Please, I urge you take the time and plan for the unexpected in your life. What I thought was extreme on my husband's part in so many ways was the biggest gift he could have ever given to me and the kids and is still proving to be a gift as I revisit it often when I need his insight and advice.

If you would like to listen a bit of my heart on this subject, below it is raw and unedited. “Does Grieving Ever End?”

Every morning, I wake up and share a bit of my heart on my socials. If you are not following me on instagram, you can do so HERE and in this season specifically I am sharing my grief journey. Praying that I can share hope in the midst of my pain and how you too can find purpose in the midst of your valley by remembering Whose you are and who holds you!

Morning Time Inspo- CBM COFFEE MUGS

I am excited to announce, I have started my very own Crazy Busy Mama mug collection. Each one of these mugs have my signature exclusive signature on them. You can check them out HERE and you can SNAG IT your favorite – Each one of my designs comes with my CBM signature with a 💗✝️ on each. I hope you enjoy having coffee with me each morning and these exclusive CBM designs encourage you to put your best foot forward each day!

DON'T WORRY BE HOPPY is a FUN seasonal design to help inspire you to get your day started! You can check out the BE HOPPY HERE...or the rest of my Seasonal Easter Collection HERE

Much Love- Lori 💗✝️

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