Late night, I came across a note in Quintin's phone labeled “Advice to my Children” Tears rolled down my checks as I read through each one of them.
The very first piece of Q's advice- or Q'ism as I call it was “Your relationship with Jesus is EVERYTHING!!” this was in all caps!! and went on to read…
Continued below….
I don't know if you fell on my Crazy Busy Mama blog because you are struggling with grief too, or just happened on this blog post because of my Crazy Busy Mama recipes blog, but either way I am glad you are here. I am knew to this grief struggle, as I lost my sweet husband unexpectedly on April 9th 2024. That day marks the day my entire world came crashing down.
If you are new to this section of the Blog here is Quintin's Story and the events surrounding his sudden and unexpected death.
And Went on to Read….
Your Faith in and relationship with Christ will set the tone for all else in your life. EVERYTHING else must root from this one place, if it does not, you are on the wrong path. This is the most important thing I every want you to know, From this one truth, all other lessons in learning must spring. I have nothing to offer that does not first start in this one, absolute, truth.
This very first piece of advice was EVERYTHING! I honestly could have stopped reading there and it would have summarized all the advice you could ever give your children. This one piece of advice is one where everything in your life flows.
How blessed are we that he was so intentional in speaking life to our children through his words.He was so intentional about the words he chose to speak. Quintin realized he could either build castles or dig graves with his words, so he decided to focus on a building castles in our kids lives. Our kids were his WORLD and he was so proud of each and every one of them. Quintin knew how to speak life and truth into our kids lives, but that didn't mean he shied away from the hard stuff. He was very intentional about letting our kids know that the world owed them nothing and they would have to work hard for anything they wanted in this life. As I began to continue to read that note labeled “Advice to my Children” it became even more evident of just how intentional he lived not only for the words he poured over our kids in our daily lives, but for whatever reason he felt the need to put them in his phone to as a way to document these words to give them staying power. Wow what a true gift, I am so glad he did! He certainly has left a legacy that is priceless.
There are so many of these nuggets or “Q-ism's as I speak of, I have created an entire section in dedication to my amazing late husband who left this earth too early called “COOKING WITH Q” you can find HERE! You will find all his favorites from the grill, cooking in the kitchen to advice he poured into our kiddos lives. He took every opprotunity to pour wisdom as much as he could. When he spoke you listened. You would often see him pouring those Q-ism's in the car carpooling our kdis from place to place or sharing that wisdom around the dinner table. It was important for him to be intentional with all he did even his words.
Oh my heart breaks every moment of the day… as he is no longer physically with us I can't help but wonder what the days ahead look like and it is unbearable…but I am so thankful for the short time we did have him how he loved us so intentionally. Although, he was far from perfect he made an honest effort to check all the boxes to make sure he did his job fully as a father to his children here on earth. I firmly believe we need more fathers like that. Ones who aren't afraid to call out things when needed for correction, and call out the good in them in order for the opportunity to rise up to the occasion. A dad who stands firm in his conviction and is there to comfort and catch when our kids when they fall. Again, I don't want to paint an incorrect picture of Quintin he was not a perfect man. He dealt with his fair share of demons that he fought off each and every day just we all do, but he had a heart and desire to raise our kiddos knowing that the love of Christ and their personal relationship with Jesus was ultimately the most important thing this side of heaven without it we have nothing! He truly was a such a gift and blessing to us.
Little did he know in leaving this note in his phone, he would be leaving a legacy for our kids and their kids for generations to come and guidance for me as their mother to have him right by my side through parenting.
So incredibly grateful! One of the best gifts my children and I could receive.
Stay Salty ….
My mug says “Stay Salty” as a reminder to be the SALT to this world in need.
“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.” Matthew 5:13
Salt bring perseverance, flavor and even heals. God has put us here today in this culture, in our family, or work environments for this very moment. In this moment mama, be willing to be the salt to preserve the ways, teachings values, and share the power of Christ.
I hope this must inspires you to bring the flavor of heaven to earth wherever you go! Stay Salty my friend!
Every morning, I wake up and share a bit of my heart on my socials. If you are not following me on instagram, you can do so HERE and in this season specifically I am sharing my grief journey. Praying that I can share hope in the midst of my pain and how you too can find purpose in the midst of your valley by remembering Whose you are and who holds you! For those who would like to take a listen you can do so below.
So thankful for your encouragement each day 🥹your support means the world to me.
I am excited to announce, I have started my very own Crazy Busy Mama mug collection. “Stay Salty” is on of my signature exclusive mugs and you can SNAG IT HERE – Each one of my designs comes with my CBM signature with a 💗✝️ on each. I hope you enjoy having coffee with me each morning and these exclusive CBM designs encourage you to put your best foot forward each day!
Also, when I posted this on social media, I had a lot of people ask about my dress and my Q necklace so I decided to link on my LTK. If you are curious, you can check it out HERE
I know all to well, the pain & grief you are going through. I lost my husband of 44 yrs, on 4-10-21. It was pretty quick too. We found out on 2-4-21 , that he had stage 4 kidney cancer that had spread to his lungs, lymph nodes & hip. He never showed any signs. He had been having slight headaches & dr suggested he get his eyes checked. Eye dr said he had pressure build up on his optical nerves & he would go blind, if the cause wasn’t found & fixed. After regular ct’s & MRI’S of his head, with no answers, dr decided to look lower & ordered check xray. That’s when the lung cancer was spotted. Still no answer for eye pressure. So he sent us to a bigger hospital , for a full body MRI with contrast. That’s when all the other cancer was found AND the answer to the eye pressure. There was a small blood clot deep in his brain causing the problem.
During this same time frame, our only daughter was due to have her 1st baby and she was high risk. Oncologist said only treatment for the cancer was immunotherapy. With treatment maybe have 2-3yrs. Without 3-4 months.
My husband told drs., fix my eye problem, so I can go see my new grandson & then we’ll come back and get started on treatments. He was in the hospital for a whole month, drs trying to dissolve the clot. Daughter had her son on 2-17-21 & nearly died having him. She hemorrhraged and lost 2/3s of her blood, before they got her stitched up. So she wasn’t able to travel, to come see us. Dr said if she pulled a stitch while coming up, she would bleed to death before she could get help. So we decided to go to her. We stayed 2 weeks & then came home. He never made his first oncologist appointment. A few days before ,he got so weak, he couldn’t get up. He told me then, no more drs , no more hospitals. We got hospice in. He passed at home 3 days later.
Needless to say, I miss him so so much. S/I’ll reach for him at night. Still see or hear something , I want to share with him, but can’t.
I’m thankful you still have your children at home. It’s really hard when you’re by yourself . My closest family is 5 hrs away.
May God bless you and your family.