Uncomfortable Steps

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9 months into my Widow journey I went on a BLIND DATE? WHAT??

I was set up by a dear friend of mine Kerrissa, who just knew we would be good for one another.

To be honest, I didn't want to go… BUT I did! I even got there a bit early and waited for 10 minutes at the table by myself. Loosing my husband was the biggest tragedy in my life, the last thing I wanted to do was to put myself in a vulnerable moment even little ones like this and wait at a table all alone. I felt like all eyes on me, I might as well had a label on my forehead “WIDOW” ugh!

MAGIC HAPPENS WHEN YOU STEP OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE

You know the saying, magic happens when you step outside of your comfort zone? I think we have all heard it before but it is so much easier to say than do.

When it comes down to it, most of us that if given the choice would rather choose the comfortable versus the uncomfortable even though the discomfort is what makes us grow. I mean, I would rather choose comfort! Just like after a hard work out you are sore, that is because your muscles are being torn so that they can grow and become bigger and stronger. Everyone loves the growth results but I have never met a person who is in love with the growth pains. I mean think about it, do you know someone who loves the idea of pain?

Back to my Blind Date….

It's not what you think…

For the cliff notes version of it … if Cliff Notes are still a thing, HA! If not, I am totally dating myself with that statement.

My Blind Date was a local-ish Mama Widow who was about 7 years ahead of her widow journey. A widow who I would eventually meet in Dallas at a NEVER ALONE WIDOWS conference. If you are a new mama widow with children in the home and are looking for support or a community, I would highly recommend connecting with NEVER ALONE WIDOWS. I am new to my journey, but I am already seeing how much of a community of encouragement they are equipping mamas with tangible ways to deal with their grief. My hope in going to this “blind date” was to connect and gain some insight on how to handle my immense grief and how to successfully navigate the grief of my children are carrying in hopes to help them too. If I could
walk away with just ONE tool to help my children then that would be worth me being uncomfortable! So throwing my comfort out the window I went.

While getting ready for my blind date with another widow mom, I realize that our paths have crossed only because of my husbands passing. This is not a story that I ever wanted for me and my kids life. I was now part of a club that I never wanted to be part of but I wasn't alone, it was a club that many other mamas just like me were trying to navigate through and the blind date was proof of just that!

So I Went..not because I wanted to go, because I needed to go! For me…for my kids for US!

To be honest I didn't want to go, somehow meeting someone I had never met that had a similar tragic story of loosing their person too was just too much. I remember feeling sick, like literally physically sick just thinking about it. Would it feel forced, would it be awkward, would it be uncomfortable… yes yes and more yes but it was worth all of those things because I was able to meet with someone who gets me and gets my life of being a mom to grieving children.

We sat and talked for 4 hours! 4 hours of solid conversation that keep going and going without a stall or pause. Undoubtedly, we easily could have sat there for four more hours. That young mama widow stranger became a sweet friend who we connected with about our amazing husbands, parenting, life and tragedies. That 4 hours was full of tears, laughter, and hope amongst our grief.

Was it uncomfortable? HECK YES it was!

BUT… BUT GOD

If I had never gone because I was afraid or uncomfortable then I would have never been able to relate a to another mama widow who was carrying a similar load ahead of me on her grief journey who was able to speak life in the midst of my tragic season of loss and provide an ounce of hope.

So let this be your reminder friend, don't do things because you want to do them do them because you know you need to!

Life is full of adventure isn't? It isn't always full of good times…rainbows or unicorns, but I believe even in the bad He can turn your mess into His Message. You just have to be willing for Him to do so.

Fast forward….there is so much more of a story here and I will share that BEHIND THE SCENES story HERE!

To hear my emotional raw heart on this uncomfortable step you can listen in below.

Every morning, I wake up and share a bit of my heart on my socials. If you are not following me on instagram, you can do so HERE and in this season specifically I am sharing my grief journey. Praying that I can share hope in the midst of my pain and how you too can find purpose in the midst of your valley by remembering Whose you are and who holds you! For those who would like to take a listen you can do so daily on my Instagram HERE

So thankful for your encouragement each day 🥹your support means the world to me.

BUT GOD…

Your sip of encouragement – BUT GOD MUG HERE

But God Mug

I am excited to announce, I have started my very own Crazy Busy Mama mug collection. Each one of these mugs have my signature exclusive signature on them. You can check them out HERE and you can SNAG IT your favorite – Each one of my designs comes with my CBM signature with a 💗✝️ on each. I hope you enjoy having coffee with me each morning and these exclusive CBM designs encourage you to put your best foot forward each day!

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Never Alone Widows

If you landed on this blog post it is probably because you are wanting to know all about…

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  1. You may never see this but in the event you do, just know I have felt your pain over and over. I have prayed for you even tho I didn’t know anything about your back story, I ran across a reel on fb a couple of months ago. I lost my husband Nov 2023 (age 40) to a surprising cancer that cropped up out of no where. (And no we did not do the V jabs either before that assumption is made 😬) I had 6 weeks with him before Jesus took him. We have 3 kids, one had just gotten engaged, one was at ORU on a cheer scholarship and our son had moved to Tulsa and was doing well. Life was good as it should be but then…

    We had started an oilfield service business about 13 years prior and I had no idea if I could even keep it running. ( I am a certified teacher school counselor and principal but left education to work with Caleb full time about 6 years prior) During the time Caleb was sick we began to pray not our will but His. I gave Jesus everything even before He took my Caleb and told Him since He took the one thing that held me together He would have to take His place 100%. And you know what, He has in everything. See, I am a pastors kid who walked away from the church (not Jesus) for 18 years. I regave my life completely to Him and now my only goal is to share my stories of what all He has done for me. (There are a lot, it’s weekly God stories, it’s incredible) In the last year He has literally sent people I needed to my driveway for exactly the things I needed for that day or week. (I have had to rebuild a semi engine, put in a new motor in a one ton and built a house ( which I had no idea how to do and God paid for it 🤷🏻‍♀️) I had no idea how to take care of mechanical things as Caleb was our mechanic. Our business is an oilfield service business and needless to say it’s a man world. But God!! He has literally taken care of every situation I have had to face since I lost my sweet Caleb. We worked together, we were basically attached at the hip. I took care of the office (bookkeeping, billing etc) and he took care of everything else. Now my son (who is 22 today) drives a semi and I take care of everything else. God is faithful to take care of His kids and man is He taking care of us. I know you’re a woman of faith as I am but one thing I have found is the Holy Spirit truly is the comforter just like Jesus said His Spirit would be. I received the baptism of the Holy Ghost and the peace and joy that it gives is literally a peace that cannot be understood and the joy is truly ever lasting. He has allowed me to continue with life without the depression, anxiety, anger or anything else. His spirit is everything the Bible says it is. The true comforter. I live without worry, fear, depression, anxiety, anger or even not knowing the whys. I pray His will for my life as well as our kids and so far His will has been perfect. Hard and sad at times, absolutely but in those low moments He just picks me and the kids up and carries us further down the road we now have to walk. I have and to this day still experience His peace that passes all understanding. It’s insane…But God, He is truly a miracle worker. This business (which by Him alone) is still successful because I could not make it work without Him. One thing the pastor who preached Caleb’s memorial service, when he came to visit after he passed, said don’t ask why God takes our loved ones ask why not them? I was shocked but then realized it does say God is no respecter of persons and our days on earth are numbered so when our time is up, it is up. Is it hard? Absolutely! Will He walk with us? Absolutely! I tell Him a lot, especially when I need Him to do something, I say Jesus you put me in this position and now I need you to help in this or that…and He just does whatever I need. I always ask in faith, believing He is going to do it. He loves us more than we can ever imagine. We are the apple of His eye and He will work everything for our good even if it seems the hardest thing in the world. I miss my Caleb everyday but the hope we have in knowing we will see him soon makes life worth living for my Jesus. He is truly my friend that is closer than a brother. I talk to Him all the time, it kind of sounds like I talk to myself but Im always talking to Him, I know He is hearing. I have literally just said in passing, man I need (fill in the blank) and then it just happens He just provides my needs, it proves He literally listens and answers taking care of me. Nothing else matters to me but pleasing my father. He has been so good and faithful to me I literally could write a book on all the things he has done in just a little over a year.

    May God bless you, May His face shine down upon you, May you feel His love everyday and always Know God has you in the palm of His hand. He knows exactly where each one of us are every second of everyday. I will continue to pray for you and you kiddos that He will give you the peace that passes all understanding.

    Thanks for sharing your journey!! He loves you and your kids so very dearly. This I Know!!

    I haven’t been brave enough to do videos I just share posts on fb as apparently I’m just old school my kids say 🤣.

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